Culture Gap

Hello, All!

Well, Birthday time is upon me – tomorrow is the big 23. The goat-buying thing has turned into a very annoying lesson. Never, ever give Chadians gifts. The culture gap with regards to gift giving and receiving is just too huge of a yawning canyon, with a roiling river of potential irritation at the bottom. I thought I was being really nice by offering to buy my family a goat. After all, it’s my birthday, shouldn’t they be giving me gifts? Cough….uh, first of all most Chadians don’t even know their exact ages, let alone their birthdays. Seriously! The conversation goes like this:
“So how old are you?”
“Oh, let’s see…17 or 18…”
“Well, when were you born?”
“Uhh…Fatime was born after me and I was in 6e when Achta was born….1987 or 88…”

Age and birthdays just aren’t an issue. I think it must be because this culture is so much more collective. They think much more about the group than us individualistic, age-knowing-to-the-minute Americans. Secondly, when someone throws a “fête” (party in French), they go all out. I should have known this, but was still shocked and extremely irritated when my sister handed me a list of everything they wanted – sodas, desserts, fruits, veggies, etc. – that totaled 25,000 CFA without the goat! Inside my head, I said in that tone of voice some of you have heard and the rest can imagine, “Do you want the damn goat or not?” But I remained calm and tried to remind myself that my sisters were not being greedy and demanding but only seemed that way because of the differences in perception. I’m sure they thought I was being very Ebenezer Scrooge. Or Mohamed Scrooge.

But, all has worked out. The mail run came yesterday with lots of b-day goodies and hilarious homemade cards from other volunteers. My sisters know that the mail truck brings me money every month. And so, when I told them that the PC driver had not brought my salary because of fear of “coupers de routes” (armed bandits who rob cars – most are actually soldiers making a little extra in addition to their salary and regular bribes) and I could only give them 15,000 CFA for the fête. They were annoyed, but understood. In my defense, the driver really didn’t bring me any money but only because I didn’t request any from my bank account. So, it wasn’t a total lie – it was a white lie – as white as the unexpectedly cute little goat patiently awaiting his doom under out tree.